A personal initiative to live more appreciatively

Thursday, December 8, 2011

#15: My Grandfather

My grandfather passed away when I was only 10 years old. I did not know him well, but I have vivid memories of him from my childhood. We talked often on the phone, and I will always recall him as a gentle, kind and caring man. His passing was the first major loss of my life, and the first time I think I truly felt regret. I was a timid child, and my grandfather was blind. Something about his blindness made me shy away from him when I was little, but around the age of 8 or so I outgrew that uneasiness. But then he passed just a few years later, and I remember feeling such regret that I had wasted so much time I could have spent with him. Maybe that seems farfetched-- that at such a young age I could have such an understanding-- but I distinctly remember profound grief, for the loss of my grandfather, and the loss of what might have been.

The reason I am grateful for him today, actually, is admittedly strange. My sister and I decided to go to a tarot card reader for fun. I went to one once a few years ago, and I find it fascinating, although I take it all with a grain of salt. When I sat down with the reader tonight she told me that the person who came through to her strongest for me was my grandfather. She told me the first concept that came to her mind when she met me was "scissors" and asked what the reference was. The only connection I could make was that I had just thought of a story from my childhood related to scissors earlier today, and she said she thinks that was my grandfather's way of validating that he's in my life.

Ok. Maybe. Who knows.

Regardless of any speculation or belief I may have in this supposed clairvoyant's reading of me, it did make me think of my grandfather. It's been a long time since he passed , and I do not think of him often. But tonight I was reminded of him, what a wonderful grandfather he was, and the lesson he taught me of how important it is to value the people in your life while they are in your life.

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