#317: Generosity

Upon the birth of our son, I've been overwhelmed by generosity. We've been showered with gifts, visits, prepared meals, offers to babysit...all in the name of love. There are too many people to name, too much goodness to specifically list (although I have been writing and mailing formal thank yous, of course!)-- but overall we are so appreciative of the time and energy bestowed upon us and the generous hearts of our amazing family and friends.

#309: Tara

When I look back on my life, I can say resoundingly that Tara was my first best friend. While we grew up in a small town and always knew each other as a result-- my sister was even her babysitter for a while-- we first became friends when we were in the same 4th grade class. One of my earliest memories of Tara, one of the ways that solidified her as that first best friend, is when she stuck up for me, a meek and shy 10 year old, when a classmate was being unkind. As upsetting as that moment probably was as it occurred...as much as I was probably focused on the mean girl at the time...when I look back on that moment as an adult I just see the beautiful beginning of one of my most valued friendships.

Tara and I shared so much during our adolescence. I have boxes full of notes from her, vividly remember our inside jokes, spent hours talking to her about any and everything. We were often kicked out of classes because one or both of us couldn't stop laughing, and I think if my life so far were to be replayed, so many of the moments that I have laughed the hardest have been with Tara. Middle school and high school can be challenging years, but I know that one of the reasons I look back at those years with such happiness and levity is because of Tara. She was always willing to be totally ridiculous and obnoxious without abandon, and we had an unbelievable amount of fun as a result.

Unfortunately college distanced us a bit, but I am so blessed that time and the bond one forges ruining plays together can sustain any distance time and life may create. Tara and I reconnected years ago, and I am so happy to say that I once again call her one of my closest friends. One of the most amazing qualities of Tara as a grown woman is that I still see traces of who she was when we first became best friends. She is unbelievably selfless, strong and kind. Her laugh is just as bountiful and contagious as it ever was; she's gregarious and exudes an infectious happiness and positivity you can't help but internalize in her presence. She's gracious and graceful, someone I know I can go to at any time for advice, for a laugh, for motivation. Anyone who knows Tara knows her to be a force of positivity and energy, and I am blessed to have her in my life. We are the Bunson to one another's Beaker, the Super Rockill to one another's Caped Canova, my fierce, loyal and amazing dear friend.

#306: Trish

For the past seven years I have been on my team at work with Trish, and I am so blessed to have had the opportunity to be mentored by and work with her for the entirety of my teaching career.

During my first year Trish had already been teaching for a number of years but she was new to our building. That, coupled with her unbelievably cheery disposition and willingness to help, caused me to gravitate to her more than any other colleague. Trish entertained my multitude of questions and concerns, always giving me sage advice and reassurance when I was unsure of myself. I spent many afternoons talking to her in her classroom, and she willingly gave of her time to guide me in my years as a novice teacher. Some of my fondest memories of the beginning of my teaching career were these moments with Trish...laughing with her, feeling bolstered by her support, and helping her correctly pronounce the names of our students. If I had to name who has been my mentor as a young educator, Trish is it.

Now that I am in year seven I don't need Trish as much as I used to...but it's because she was so consistently and continuously there for me when I did need her that I am where I am as an educator. And over the years our relationship has evolved from the mentor/mentee dynamic to one of friendship, and Trish is an amazing friend to have. I know few people who can talk as much as Tricia does, but I also know few people who listen as well as she does, either. I always love getting her perspective, be it on current world issues or our personal lives. She's a passionately loyal mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend and coworker, quick to put others in front of herself. I have oft been on the receiving end of her support and love. I may not spend afternoons in her classroom as much as I used to, but I am thankful for all of those days, that I've continued to call her a teammate, and that I have a dear friend in her now, forever.

#300: Kristin

Today on facebook my friend and coworker Kristin posted the following: "Bianca's (her dog) wish came true: my pool is destroyed." As a result of the recent hurricane a tree fell on her pool, and she imagines that her dog, who is deathly afraid of water and hates to swim, is rejoicing.

Of course I am not at all happy to hear the news about the pool, but I did have to chuckle at the status itself, imagining Bianca the only one happy of the pool's demise, and also to marvel at my friend...that amidst something terrible she found a light hearted, potentially positive side. But that is Kristin: light hearted, positive, quick to smile and bring a smile to others.

I've loved getting to know Kristin over the years. She is an absolute ball to hang out with, and a friend I know that I can always count on. I recently needed advice and I knew she was the perfect person to go to...and she was, offering me really great, logical, sound suggestions. Kristin cares deeply for her loved ones, and you can see it as her eyes genuinely light up when she talks about her boyfriend, her parents, her sisters; you can hear it in the levity of her laugh when she's with her friends. To honor her passion and career, I say this resoundingly and with the help of google translator: Estoy agradecido de tener Kristin como amigo!

#293: My Home

This week I've thought often how thankful I am for my house-- for the physical structure of it, the fact that it provides me and my family shelter. Today I am thankful for my house as my home.

I love the comfort of my home, that it's a place I feel secure and safe. I love that it's adorned with photos of my family and friends-- the living embodiment of home. I love how laughter bounces off its walls, that it's set the stage for holidays and birthdays. I love the way sun streams through the windows, the way rain runs down the window panes. I love how light filters in throughout the day, how you can see the moon out the skylights. I love finding my cats curled in their secret spots, love the sound of Kegan's keys in the door when he returns from work. I love knowing I've been blessed here, and with continued  grace, will be, even more so, here.

"Home is the nicest word there is." - Laura Ingalls Wilder

#289: Brianna

If you’re going to have a party, you’d benefit from having one of my best friends on your guest list. Amidst my party planning and preparations, Brianna proved herself to be such an asset. She was one of the most enthusiastic of all of my guests for the event itself, offered and ultimately made multiple desserts, showed up the day of with a beautiful gift for us for hosting, and spent a good chunk of time during the party itself helping me with the dishes. No matter how many times I tried to insist she just be a “guest”, Brianna refuted that she wanted to help, and it was made so evidently clear that in Brianna’s mind the role of a guest is to be fully supportive and generous to the host. Brianna happily washing dishes for nearly an hour tonight is a testament to just how amazing of a person and good of a friend she is.

While Malorie was my freshman year roommate, and with that role we had connected prior to school even beginning, but Brianna was the first true friend I made at TCNJ. Nearly 30 it is now embarrassing to admit my instigating conversation with her, but bear in mind I was 17 at the time…and I needed to point out a good-looking guy I had been noticing all day. Scanning the crowd of my new floormates I picked out the most welcoming, friendly female face I could find, and in that moment Brianna became an ally. She agreed he was very good looking, did not judge me for being so shallow, and our friendship was solidified. I couldn’t tell you the name of that guy anymore, or even what he looked like, but I am so thankful that he caught my eye as often as he did…because 10 years later Brianna remains one of my best friends.

Brianna is one of the few people I think you can judge in mere minutes of meeting her. I might have been searching for the most welcoming, friendly face I could find...but Brianna truly is one of the most welcoming, friendly people around. She's physically beautiful, but more importantly she has a beautiful spirit. She's giving, kind, has a huge heart, gives great advice, and only wants the best for the people in her life. A girl's night out...specifically one that involves dancing to 80's music...is not complete without Brianna, and my life wouldn't be, either. 

#288: My Dinner Party

Since moving into our home four years ago, I have always wanted to throw a dinner party. I tend to be the kind of person who has big ideas but rarely executes them (I’ve been talking up a Harry Potter themed party for I don’t know…ten years, maybe?), but this past summer I resolved that I would throw a dinner party for my friends for one of my favorite holidays: Halloween. Kegan, recognizing my excitement for the event the day I conceptualized it, gave me his blessing, agreeing to handle the food preparation (because I’m not into cooking) and told me I could “go all out.” And “go all out” I did.

Throughout the dinner party preparation I took cues from my ‘muses’ Gretchen Rubin and Laura Vanderkam. From their philosophies I was reminded that money spent on experiences that one knows will bring oneself and others happiness is money well-spent, and that the time invested in the anticipation and build up to an event is often where the most happiness is cultivated. This allowed me to thoroughly enjoy the entire process; I loved shopping for decorations, creating my tablescape, ordering and addressing invitations, planning the menu…it was genuinely a wonderful time throughout. The day of was admittedly stressful for both Kegan and I: day of preparations somehow took nearly 10 hours, we had to delay our guests‘ arrival by 30 minutes and some of the small details slipped through the cracks. That being said, I was able to sit at the end of my dining room table and bask in the glow of candles and flickering orange and white lights, proud of myself for the party we were throwing and thrilled to be surrounded by 12 good friends.

At the end of the night I was unsure I would ever be able to pull off an event quite like that again…and to my surprise it was Kegan who encouraged me to consider it—maybe not next year, but again in the future. He pointed out just how happy the event made me, how successful it had been, and most importantly how it had gathered important people in our lives together under one roof for a fun and festive evening. It made me think how grateful I am for a husband who is truly a partner, supportive friends, the energy and means to pull off a party—one that the memories of will bring me happiness for a lifetime. 

#283: Malorie & Jeff's Engagement

My pedicurist recently told me 2012, according to the Chinese calendar, is a lucky year, a year where many good things happen. That seems to be the case, because today I get to be thankful for yet another friend’s engagement. Malorie and her boyfriend Jeff got engaged while on vacation in Montanta this week, and I am so excited and happy for the both of them. Malorie is an absolutely amazing person and one of my best friends, someone who is deserving of every happiness, and I believe with Jeff she has found that.

#278: Jackie

This afternoon I breezed into Jackie's classroom, and found her at her desk on her laptop.

"I joined Pinterest," she announced. I immediately froze, my love of pinterest well known by my friends (and thought to be bordering on addiction). I couldn't gauge from her voice whether she liked it or not...but as most people who end up on the site agree, Jackie's a fan. But then Jackie quickly revealed how she's not like most people.

"I'm going to have to make you garlic bread!" she said, smiling, referencing my most recent 'pin' of a garlic bread recipe. To her this was probably just an innocuous statement, but to me it typified Jackie and who she is. Always thinking of others, always willing to do things for and be there for her friends, Jackie is super thoughtful, generous and selfless. Pinterest can be a very self indulgent website, and the fact that she was thinking how she could use it to do things for others is quintessential Jackie. I laughed and agreed that that would be amazing (because who doesn't love garlic bread?!), but I was also so touched by what, to Jackie, was probably not a big deal at all. Jackie is a friend who carries herself with such grace that it's just part of her nature-- she doesn't think much of the hours she spends baking, or the  attention she'll immediately give if you want her advice, or the time she'll spend just being with her friends-- she's an absolutely amazing person and friend, and is made even more so because she gives of herself so completely and naturally. She's also one of the funniest people I know...which time spent with Jackie (best with a couple of sangria swirls) is bound to result in a lot of laughing.

I met Jackie because she co-taught with me my first year. I've always felt somewhat bad that she was partnered with me in what was my most novice year, a year during which I know I didn't give as much to our partnership as I have in the preceeding years with future partners. But I will always be so thankful that we were put in a classroom together...one year of working together has resulted in 7 years of friendship, a friendship I am extremely thankful for.

#275: Tim & Lauren's Wedding

Yesterday Kegan was a groomsmen in his good friend Tim's wedding. It was a truly wonderful day. As I've written before, it's so wonderful to attend weddings, and of course it's extra special to be a part of one. I know how important and grateful Kegan was to stand by Tim's side, and as his wife, that makes me thankful, as well. It was a lovely ceremony, a really fun reception, nice to spend time with Kegan's high school friends, and pretty awesome to dance with a Michael Jackson impersonator. You don't see that at every wedding! Tim and Lauren are wonderful people, we wish them the best, and we were both so honored to be a part of their big day.

#268: Erinn

Erinn has played a major role in my life during its most recent years, but she's actually been a part of it for far longer than that. We grew up in the same small town, went to high school together, and her older sister (who was the same year as me in high school) was someone I knew well and hung out with on occasion. Erinn and I then ended up at the same college, and while we were years apart and had never talked much, I always made it a point to wave to her when I saw her on campus.

It was at our college that Erinn met Brian, Kegan's cousin, and her now fiance. It was because of their relationship that Erinn and I came to really know each other. While I am unbelievably thankful for Brian and Erinn as a couple, selfishly I must admit I am also thankful for their relationship because it resulted in me gaining a best friend in Erinn, as well.

One of the reasons we became so close is because we discovered we have so many similarities. We both love to read and share a very similar taste in books, we're aspiring writers, run and have run together often, appreciate the same dark humor and in general think alike. She is so easy to talk to, and we can talk seemingly for hours with one another...and in doing so we've forged a bond that made her feel like family way before she officially became part of it.

Beyond our likeness, Erinn was so easy to become close to just because of who she is. She is wickedly intelligent and funny, cares unbelievably deeply for those close to her, gives great advice and always is willing to lend an empathetic and understanding ear to my various qualms, neurosis and concerns. She's supportive and thoughtful, often dropping by with little gifts she's picked up that remind her of me or is something she thinks I'd like (and she's always spot on with that). I love hanging out with her; we spend a lot of time together going running, out to eat, to happy hours, or just bumming around my house together.  I've always loved Kegan's family and spending time with them, but now I love it even more because Erinn's a part of all of those gatherings, too.

Erinn and I recently talked about how we can be very social people, but also very guarded. She actually sent me a quote by Sylvia Plath that summed up this juxtaposition: "I like people too much or not at all." Erinn would be one of those people, then, that I guess I like too much...and I've learned from her that I need to be more open to the possible friendships that are around me. Who would've known at the time that the girl I would pass in my high school hallways would become one of my nearest and dearest friends? What I do know, now, is that I am unbelievably blessed that she did.

Erinn and me

(love this picture of us, although I desperately wish I could fix my hair in it)

(I add that caveat because I know that's something Erinn will understand)

#263: Bunco

My friends and I get together every so often to spend a night playing bunco-- a dice game-- with one another. We aim for once a month, but it at least happens a few times throughout the year. Inevitably we spend most of the time just chatting with each other, enjoying each other's company and a glass of wine or a cold beer. Even when the game gets going, rounds are delayed because we end up sitting and talking between them.

Although in my younger years I always found it "easier" to be friends with guys, as I've aged I've come to really cherish and value my friendships with women, which now outnumber my male friendships. Bunco is always a fun excuse to get together--- it's always nice to have a weeknight outing to look forward to, and the potential to win some cash!-- but more importantly I see it as time spent with my girls, time that I truly value.

#258: Phone Call Check-Ins

For someone who doesn't really like to chat on the phone, I of course really think it's important to connect with your loved ones every so often and really talk . In the age of instant communication it's so convenient to send an email, text or facebook message for quick check ins, and I love that those technologies allow for the ease of staying in contact with one another. But every so often I believe it's important to have more than that, and phone calls fill that void. Tonight I called my brother to check in, and it was so great to talk to him and catch up...it was one of the times that I hung up the phone and was so grateful that I took the time to call. It's also always nice to be the recipient of check-in calls from people, nice to know that loved ones are thinking of you, and in that vein, I love chatting on the phone.

#257: Shanna

It's likely become repetitive of me to say how grateful I am for working where I do because of, amongst other reasons, the amazing friends I've met as a result of my job. But it's an amazing perk of my job, one that I will be forever appreciative for long after I no longer work there. Shanna is one of those friends, and an amazing one at that.

Shanna is someone about whom, once you become friends with her you think to yourself, "How was there ever a time when I didn't have her in my life?" She's an unbelievably easy person to befriend: gregarious, open, unbelievably friendly and warm, Shanna truly attracts people to her. I love watching Shanna bounce around a room; people around her literally light up in her presence, her laugh is contagious and genuine, she lives with such vivaciousness it inevitably rubs off on her surroundings. Shanna has a "social butterfly" necklace she wears that is so quintessentially her-- she's happy to be happy around everyone, and everyone is inevitably happy to be around her.

Shanna's ability to make friends quickly is only matched by the closeness of her relationships. When you're friends with Shanna you know you're valued: she is generous, giving, quick to offer help, advice, an empathetic ear. She simply loves-- fiercely, and with all of her heart-- the people in her life, and that love is clearly reflected back to her from her husband, family and friends. I love the friendship that I have with her now, knowing we're only going to get closer over the years; I love knowing that when I see Shanna again (whether she's read this or not) I'm going to get a big hug from her because she's "a hugger"; simply, I love Shanna.

Shanna and me, likely up to "Shannanigans"

#255: Photographs

One of my summer projects was to "deal with my photographs". I had a lot of prints that hadn't been put into albums or properly organized, as well as every digital photo I've taken since graduating college just sitting in iPhoto. I resolved to tackle these loose ends, and during my actual summer vacation I did deal with all of the loose prints.

This morning I sat down at my computer to begin sorting through my digital photos, organizing them into albums that I could ultimately order and have printed. It was so wonderful to go through the photos, seeing my nieces and nephews in their younger years, recalling great trips and times with Kegan, my family and friends.

Despite feeling initially like I had so many photos, I inevitably wished I had more. It's encouraged me to make more of an effort to take more photos and not just let them sit on a computer. I'm grateful for all  of the photos that I have, and the time that I spent going through them. It's another way to live out my Thankfulness Project: I can't help but see the smiling faces of my loved ones or recollect amazing experiences I've had without feeling grateful for them.

#254: A Giants' Win

A newly self proclaimed Giants fan, I have to be thankful today for their comeback win against the Buccaneers. More so than the win itself, I am just glad to have spent the afternoon watching the Giants victory with Kegan and my dad. There are so many aspects of being a football fan I've long desired...I was just missing the "being a football fan" part of it, which was kind of a necessity for the other benefits. Now that I am throwing myself into that identify, I'm getting to enjoy the perk I most wanted: being able to spend time with friends and family, rallied around a similar cause, and of course indulging in some awesome game time snacks.

#232: Friends Who Aren't Scared Of Spiders

My college roommates will tell you that I am pretty brave when it comes to bugs. I was usually the one called upon to deal with the invaders of our college house, and as long as I can trap it or step on it without hearing an audible squish, I'll take care of it.

Spiders, though, are a different story. Little ones don't bother me, but the big ones...forget about it.

Yesterday I somehow managed to get into my car without noticing a huge web that had been constructed from my sideview mirror to my car door. Driving along, I then discovered that I had a passenger- a silver dollar sized, chunky spider was hanging on to said web, despite my highway speeds. I watched, in awe and disgust, as the spider somehow curled up his web, traveling on just a single strand he left behind...and then sought out shelter inside the sideview mirror.

I arrived for my school professional development day and immediately greeted my coworkers. "How's your summer been? That's great. Are you bothered by spiders?"

Luckily my coworker Mark was willing to come help me with my stow-away, so he came out during the lunch break with our friends. He fished the spider out with a twig, and we safely deposited it in a tree....many yards away from my car. I thanked Mark profusely-- I would've been a basket case continuing to drive around with it "in" my car-- and he genuinely and kindly responded with, "That's just what you do." I'm so appreciative Mark is such a great guy...and braver than me when it comes to spiders.

#229: Rob

Rob is a coworker, who just so happens to be pretty amazing when it comes to home renovation. He spent some time working on my house this past week, helping us clean up and improve our utility area. Rob tiled the floor, pulled down some old paneling, built a wall, fixed electrical outlets, hung cabinets, AND built me a laundry dresser to boot-- work that would've been extremely challenging (maybe even impossible) and time consuming for us to tackle on our own. Now that the work is done, that space feels truly like a new room in our home-- the space is so much cleaner, brighter, warmer, and friendlier. We're thrilled with the work he's done.

In addition to his skills as renovator, Rob is just a great guy-- generous, kind and funny. He showcased all of these qualities this week: fixing a broken paver we've ignored Phil Dunphy style, brought us vegetables and cupcakes, making all the Home Depot runs to pick up the supplies we needed. I'm of course thankful to know Rob because he's helped us out hugely with out house, but when it comes down to it, I'm just thankful to know Rob.

#214: Girls' Nights

As we age, more and more of my girl friends are getting into serious relationships or married. While this in itself is wonderful, it means that less time is spent with just the girls. Time that we get for girls' nights has become, as a result, more valuable. I love having time to spend with the amazing women that I am blessed to call my friends, to talk and laugh and be ridiculous in a way that we wouldn't...or couldn't...be with guys around. It's nice to foster relationships amongst couples and with my friends' significant others, but it's also just as important to foster the core friendship, and girls' nights are often just the way to do that.

#196: Ellie and Griswold

Malorie and Brianna both have had new additions to their families recently! Malorie is now the proud owner of the most adorable golden retriever puppy ever, Ellie, and Brianna adopted a super cute kitten, Griswold, to join her cat Rory.

Since adopting my cats I've learned how amazing it is to have a relationship with pets; I am so grateful that Malorie and Brianna have been able to give Ellie and Griswold homes, and wish them both health and happiness. Plus, I get to go play with a puppy and kitten now whenever I want!

Ellie On The Road

Griswold On The Hunt