#315: My Project; Your Project

Yesterday I celebrated yet another wonderful Thanksgiving with my family. Last year was special in that it was the first year that Kegan and I hosted; it was also the kickoff to this project. This year's Thanksgiving was equally special: not only did we host again (so thankful I married a man who likes to cook!), we had both members of Kegan's family and mine together...and it also marked the end of my personal initiative to spend a year reflecting on the aspects of my life for which I am most thankful.

When I began the project I hoped to post daily from one Thanksgiving to the next. In a slightly ditzy move I expected this to be a total of 365 reflections...forgetting that Thanksgiving does not fall on the same date each year. And while I did not actually post every single day-- especially lagging a bit during the first trimester of my pregnancy-- I can honestly say that even when I did not write, I thought, every single day, about what a blessed life I lead, in both big and small ways.

This project truly had a profound effect on me. If you've walked this road with me this year and read regularly, I am so grateful for your investment, interest and support...it was always motivating to hear family and friends commenting on specific posts, or asking me when I was going to post again on the occasions when there was a lag. And for the strangers who've read...the ones who know me only through the musings on this blog...it was humbling to know that something on here struck a chord with you and kept you invested. The project as a personal initiative kept me motivated, but so did readership, so thank you for that.

All this project is was the piecing together of thoughts, words, photos, video clips, and music...and yet from it I have gained so much. Here are the profound ways in which I feel this project has affected me:

*Each day was colored positively: My life is by no means perfect. I have frustrations, struggles, limitations, faults, weaknesses & stresses just like everyone else. I can be moody and emotional, feel conflicted and negative just as I am sure you do. But when I took time out of every day-- even the hard ones-- to look for the positivity in either that specific day or my life in general, some of that negativity was deflated. I felt calmer & happier after I took the time to look past whatever was weighing me down and found something to uplift me. Malorie and I once talked about how your world and your life is colored by the lens through which you choose to look at it. This project allowed me every day to see it positively, no matter how clouded my vision may have been by my own pessimism or life circumstances, and that truly made a difference on a daily basis.

*I suffer less anxiety: Anxiety, in general, is one of aforementioned limitations of my life. I've worked for years to manage, negate & limit it, but it's a pretty powerful opponent. This project, however, has proven to be quite the weapon in combatting the influence of anxiety in my life, a benefit of it that I did not expect, but one that makes perfect sense. Anxiety is worry of the future-- of what will come, and the worry that it will be negative. This project forced me to be more consciously alive in the present, to focus on positivity, and to think how years ago I was worried about all of these days. And as they've come, look at the blessings they've begot. It takes a lot of energy to worry, and I've found how much nicer it is to channel that energy differently. Instead of looking forward at what may be-- which we cannot know or control-- I look at what good is or has been, and am bolstered by it.

*I want less: While I would not consider myself a greedy or materialistic person to begin with, it is part of human nature to want. Yet through this project I have found myself wanting less. While it goes without saying that what matters in life is not material, spending a year accumulating the evidence of that has made me realize I do not need to accumulate stuff...because stuff doesn't matter. Beyond wanting less materially, I want less of a different life. It's easy to focus on what we do not have in life-- to focus on shortcomings, to fall victim to envy or jealousy, to compare your life to the life of another. This project has made it so clear to me just how amazing my life is...I realize that I do not want the life of another, not even in the slightest, if it would change anything about the amazing one I get to lead. As I've focused on all that I have, and in doing so realized how unbelievably abundant that is, I've realized just how content I truly am, which is a pretty powerful, profound perspective.

*I'm happier: Obviously. One of the inspirations for this project was Gretchen Rubin's work The Happiness Project. I could fully relate to her confliction that while she knew she led this amazing life,  on a daily basis she often didn't feel as happy as she knew that she should. This plight affected me, as I think it does most of us. Gretchen chose to cultivate happiness in a myriad of initiatives; I had, even before reading her work, wanted to work on being a more grateful person. This project allowed me to be more grateful but I knew would also make me happier. I now live with a better, more full heart than I did a year ago. I think I am calmer, more present, more apt to look for the good in everything more naturally than the bad...all of which has made me a happier person.

*Light begets light: If I were ever to be asked to express my worldview, I think I would have a hard time doing that. If I had to, I think I would try to formulate the simple tenements I believe shape our lives...and through this project I discovered one that I think is ultimate and powerful, capable of actively changing the course of your life. This project proved to me that "light begets light". I aimed to do something simple: to spend each day thankful for something. It became bigger than that, for all of the aforementioned benefits, and I think it became it's own force. As I appreciated daily a specific aspect of my life for which I am thankful I inevitably thought of more. It was not challenging to reflect regularly on an aspect of my life for which I am most thankful (although it was occasionally a challenge to actually write it down)...once you shine light onto your life it spreads, the darkness retreats. Everything is illuminated, and I truly feel that I see my life now through lighter eyes.


....And so you might ask, what's next?

To begin, I invite you to do this for yourself. You've invested time in my project, and I am so thankful for that. I hope that through reading my posts it inspired you to think of your own blessings...what would be more amazing to me is to know that there was a ripple effect....that I started a project, and someone else took it on for themselves. Because when I reflect on what this has done for me, I can only want for it to equally transform the lives of others. If you've ever thought reading this that it's "a nice thing" I've done, if you've looked forward to reading the posts, if you've ever considered trying this yourself...do it! I cannot endorse it enough. Start today. Here are some suggestions for how you can do it-- in the same vein as me or completely differently.

1. Just make a list: I like to write, clearly. But all of the elaboration isn't necessary. Simply list, one thing a day, that you're grateful for (like my post headings). You can probably sit and do a ton right off the bat, but try and limit yourself to one, focus on that for the day, and spread the wealth out over the year. You could write it on paper or type it on a document.

2. Keep a journal: I made my project public for a number of reasons, but the project can be just as transformative if it's private...maybe even more so. Buy yourself a notebook and take the time to write regularly.

3. Create your own Thankfulness Project Blog: Don't be intimidated by the interweb! I am by no means capable when it comes to anything technological...and I can personally avow that it's easy. You can do it, and if you want I can help. If I know you I will personally come and start it for you and show you how to use it. Sorry my Russian reader...you're on your own :)

4. Facebook It: Facebook users are so willing to share the most mundane (pardon my criticism) crap as their Facebook statuses. You had egg salad for lunch? Awesome. I shouldn't judge, but I so often wonder what exactly spurs people to make their statuses...I'll even critique the psychology behind my own! (Yes, my self reflection and constant analysis can be an exhausting way to live). I think it's just the need to connect and share, but also to express. Whenever you go on Facebook, update your status with something you are thankful for. You can change it once you eat that bangin' egg salad sandwich, but for the moment you consciously thought of your gratitude and you shared it with your world...and you'll feel pretty awesome for that.

5. Make it dinner conversation: Last night my family went around the table and shared what we were thankful for, as I think many families do on Thanksgiving. I love it, think it's such a powerful moment of the holiday. One of my motivators for this project was to extend the positivity of Thanksgiving throughout the year...and a simple way to do that would be to just have that conversation at dinner. Simply say what you were thankful for that day, and ask those you are dining with what they are thankful for. I am going to start this with my family, and cannot wait to see how it shapes us to collectively, nightly reflect on our gratitude.

However you do it, I strongly urge two things:

1. Make it a habit. Like any resolution, no matter how good your intentions are life can get in the way. But it is so worth it. So take it one day at a time and keep it simple (a reason my first suggestion might be the best, because it's likely apt to be the most successful) but make the commitment to do it. You'll lose steam at some point, but look at the big picture. Next Thanksgiving will be here before you know it....you probably thought at some point last night 'I can't believe it's already Thanksgiving, it feels like it was just Thanksgiving last year.' As Rubin reflects, "The days are long but the years are short." Keep it going, and you'll see how much you can transform your life with a simple act...but it's best if it's continuous.

2. Tell the people in your life that you're thankful for them: One of the reasons I made this project public is because there are so many people about whom I knew I would write, and I wanted to share it with them. That was one of the most profound aspects of the whole endeavor. It meant a lot to me to be able to tell the people in my life exactly what they mean to me, what effect they've had on me, how blessed I am to know and be known, to love and be loved by them. So you can keep your whole project private, but connect at least with the people you appreciate when you're appreciating them. Call your mom or dad. Send your best friend a card. Write an email to your coworker. I know it's meant a lot to the people who've I've written about to read my words, and that's made it so much more worth it to have ever taken on the project. I feel closer to them, and know that no matter what tomorrow brings in either of our lives, they know how much they mean to me. It's nice to tell people what they mean to you, and I know from the people I've told, it's even nicer to hear it. Light begets light, not just in your life, but in the lives of those you share it with.

...and dare I ask you to share it with me? You don't need to share your actual reflections, but if you take on this project I'd love to hear about it. If you know me personally you know how to reach out to me. If you don't you can email me at this snazzy email address I created simply for this purpose:
projectthankfulness@gmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you...or regularly cleaning out spam :)

As for my project...I intended to end it with Thanksgiving 2012....

But it will live on. There are so many more people to write about and so much more of my life for which I am grateful, it doesn't feel right to totally end it. The regularity with which I post will likely change, as in a few weeks I will live a much different life...but in a whole new, exciting, unbelievable way that will bring so much more to be thankful for. I'll keep writing; I hope you'll keep reading.

In summary (yes, this post is ending), here is what I have ultimately learned from this project, hope you see that I've learned this, and feel inspired to learn it for yourself:

"It is not happy people who are thankful; it is thankful people who are happy."

#297: Election Day

Regardless of the results of the election...I am thankful today to be an American. The fact that I live in a country where I can exercise my right to vote for the leaders of my choice is a privilege. I was proud to vote today, and I was thankful.

#292: First Responders

I am so thankful for all of the first responders who leave their own homes and families in times of crisis to care for the homes, families and lives of others. I’m not sure if there is anything more humane than that.

#287: Martha Stewart & Tori Spelling

…for their party planning inspiration. It’s all in the details, people!

#285: Ellen Degeneres

As a kid I was a fan of the “Ellen” sitcom, and was heartbroken when it was cancelled. I’ve read the books she’s authored, spent hours cracking up with my college friends watching her standup, believed she was the true star of Finding Nemo, and celebrated when she became the host of her own talk show 10 years ago. There is so much to love about Ellen Degeneres—she’s hilarious, giving, kind, energetic and most importantly a true positive force in our society.

I’ve been watching this current season more regularly than I have in the past, and have been truly heart warmed by Ellen’s focus on acknowledging regular citizens for their heroic acts or deservedness. She opens her stage to celebrities, of course, but also to hikers who worked to save a dog they found stranded, a couple living happily and optimistically despite their need to rent an unfurnished apartment after a home foreclosure, the former Boy Scout advocating for equality within the scouting organization. She throws her support and friendship behind all of these people, making her show not just one of entertainment but as a venue to spread kindness, tolerance and encouragement. I’ve thought a lot this week after watching her show that the world is truly a better place because Ellen Degeneres is in it, and I am so thankful she is.  

#262: "I am Thankful"

I stumbled across this simple article, which was published in 1999 in Family Circle magazine. It aligns quite closely with my project, and many of these sentiments are ones I have thought of myself. It's easy to be thankful for the positive blessings in our lives, but it can be more profound to think of the aspects we would normally describe as nuisances and see the blessings within them.

I am thankful for
...the mess to clean up after a party
because it means I have been surrounded by friends.
...the taxes I pay
because it means that I'm employed.
...the clothes that fit a little too snug
because it means I have enough to eat.
...my shadow who watches me work
because it means I am out in the sunshine.
...the spot I find at the far end of the parking lot
because it means I am capable of walking.
...all the complaining I hear about our government
because it means we have freedom of speech.
...that lady behind me in church who sings off key
because it means that I can hear.
...lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning and gutters that need fixing
because it means I have a home.
...my huge heating bill
because it means that I am warm.
...weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day
because it means that I have been productive.
...the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours
because it means that I am alive.

-Nancy J. Carmody

#221: Oscar Pistorius

The Olympics have been awesome to watch for the past week and a half, and I am especially into the track and field events that recently started. Prior to the Olympics starting, I wrote about my appreciation for parathletes, and that was before I had ever heard of Oscar Pistorius. Oscar is a sprinter from South Africa, and the first amputee to compete in the Olympics. There was a decent amount of controversy surrounding his Olympic qualification; there was argument that he had an advantage because of the "blades" that he runs on as prosthetics. Oscar and his lawyers logically defused these claims, pointing out the scientific evidence that proved his blades were merely springs (not bionic in anyway), and that many parathletes use the same blades that he does...and they are nowhere near as fast. It wasn't that he had an advantage, but that he was merely insanely talented-- like any Olympic athlete.

Oscar qualified for the semi-finals, and ultimately came in 5th in that heat. At the end of the race the winner of the heat went over to him and asked to trade bibs-- the ultimate runner sign of respect. When I saw this, I teared up a bit. In Pistorius' mind, the minds of his competitors and people worldwide, he had won. Oscar said that he considered it a victory that he had made the Olympics, that he could be a part of history, the further progression of our world towards equality.

#213: "...all good things..."

A few months ago my sister and I were out shopping in Pennsylvania. We went to a store that featured artwork from local artists, and I discovered a painting that I just kept going back to look at it. Never before had I had the experience of feeling like artwork "spoke" to me, but there was something about this painting that did. We left the store, but within days I was calling to buy it over the phone, taking a cue from Gretchen Rubin and Laura Vanderkam, both who extoll the value of buying things that make you happy.

Now this painting hangs over my bed, and it does make me quite happy. The title of the piece, "...all good things..." speaks to this project and the perspective on life that I try to foster, that there is so much good in our lives. And for me, this painting is such.

#198: Parathletes

The excitement of the upcoming Olympic Games is underway! Kegan and I have watched a decent amount of trial coverage, and when the world is watching London, we will be, too. But I think no matter how impressed I will be at the amazing achievements of the greatest athletes of Earth, I will not be as impressed as I am by parathletes.

The Paralympic Games happen as part of the Olympics, and so with the Olympic coverage amping up, there are also promotions for the Paralympics. I've seen parathletes in person at nearly every race that I have been a part of, and am always moved by their triumph. So many people who are perfectly abled do not exercise or compete, compromised by a lack of will power, deluded by excuses, or without motivation. And here are people who could have justifiable reasons not to be active-- faced with impaired or amputated limbs, weighted by the emotional and mental stress of their situations-- and they would never consider any of that a "justifiable reason" not to be an athlete. People don't like to think of the "what ifs" in life, but I have always said, god forbid anything were to happen to me, I would work hard to become a parathlete. Running is a main part of my identity, and I would never want that to be compromised.

I am thankful for parathletes; they motivate and inspire me, remind me that we all have an inner strength that, if we're willing to dig deep enough, can get us through anything.

"Unstoppable"

#180: Pete's Homecoming

My coworker Donna jetted off to California today, to be able to greet her son, Pete, an active marine corp officer who returns stateside tomorrow. This was a trip she wasn't sure would happen, so I am thrilled and thankful that it's become a reality. Donna is an all around amazing woman, one who deserves and will inevitably get her own post in this project. One of the qualities I most admire about her is her dedication as a mother. She has two children, a daughter in addition to her son, Pete, and although I do not know them well, I know them through the undying love and admiration she has for them as their mother. I cannot imagine what it must be like to be a military mother-- I cannot imagine the stress, anxiety and worry that must bring. Rarely does Donna show this (although I am sure it's ever present), because through Donna, I've witnessed the other side of being a military mother-- the pride, honor, enduring love and strength. I am grateful for Pete and his sacrifice to our country, to Donna, for hers as well, and that they both get the opportunity to be together on this joyous occasion.

#176: Memorial Day

Memorial Day is one of our most significant national holidays, and yet is observed quite casually. For most people, today marks the unofficial start of summer, a day out of work to spend barbequeing with family and friends, or an escape down the shore. These are, all, wonderful. But the holiday is remiss if one does not stop and think about what it actually represents: a day to honor and respect the men and women who, throughout our history, have dedicated and given their lives for the freedom and well being of America.

There is no more important job than that of a serviceman or woman. I cannot put into words how thankful I am for the sacrifices made by the armed forces and their families, who've served and sacrificed in their own way. Our freedom as a nation-- my freedom, as an individual-- is invaluable, but not without cost. I am always heartbroken to hear of a death in the military; these men and women knew nothing of my existence, and yet because they gave their life in service of our country, they gave their lives, in part, for me. There is nothing grander in life to be thankful for than that.

To my readers-- those who've served or are the family members of those who serve-- I don't thank you enough for your sacrifices. This post is my feeble attempt to express what is inexpressible. No words or breadth of meaning will ever be able to express the depth of my gratitude and appreciation. You are honored, today especially, but truly everyday.

#171: The Kindness of Strangers

A stereotype was confirmed for me this weekend: Midwesterners truly are the nicest people. We rode the subway twice, and both times were immediately offered seats; at a crowded beer garden two groups of people made room at the tables they were sharing so that we could have a table, too, and then they offered us their appetizers to share; crossing the street a man walked at an angle and slightly stepped in front of me, then turned to apologize profusely for cutting me off. We were in awe all weekend at this, and it became a running joke to compare it to the stereotypical New York/New Jersey treatment in these scenarios. Of course I am not a believer in true stereotypes: there are unbelievably selfless, kind people in NYC, and likely jerks in Chicago (although we didn't come across any...) But I think there is definitely truth to the culture. NYC is so on-the-go I think courtesy gets a bit lost, whereas amidst the slower pace of the Midwest people actually see one another, making them more kind. I am so grateful I witnessed this culture of kindness.

When we landed I witnessed a rather terse interaction between an airport employee and a passenger, I sighed, already missing the politeness and friendliness I was immersed in all weekend. After this weekend I am on a mission to cultivate midwestern manners more in my life here on the East Coast. 

#168: Inspirational Stories

I am a sucker for personal transformation stories, so I loved watching this video sent to me by Erinn. No matter how confident of a person you might be, it's easy to occasionally doubt yourself. This story is a reminder why we shouldn't doubt ourselves, and I am thankful to now have this in my repertoire of inspirational stories.

"Arthur's Transformation"

#162: Homer's Odyssey

Homer's Odyssey is basically a feline version of Marley & Me. I read it a few years ago, and my sister-in-law, having borrowed it, recently returned it. It's been sitting on the table by my front door for the past few days, and as I come and go I can't help but look at him on the cover and smile.

Homer was a kitten who went blind, and ultimately had his eyes removed. This, coupled with his black coat, made him nearly unadoptable. Then journalist Gwen Cooper was called by a veternarian friend to meet him, and she knew she had to give him a home. She thought she was saving his life, but as her memoir revealed, he saved hers.

I'm thankful for the book itself, for people like Gwen Cooper, and for cats like Homer. Even if you're "not a cat person", Homer's story of resiliency is inspirational, and anyone who has ever loved a pet will be moved by his story.

Homer, The Blind Wonder Cat

#161: Dr. Meixner

A decade and a half after my first grade teacher taught me school was nothing to be scared of, I decided to become a teacher myself. Dr. Emily Meixner is the director of the English/Secondary Education program at TCNJ, and has been a major influence in who I am as an educator.

I was blessed to take multiple classes taught by Dr. Meixner, as well as work with her on an independent study that was close to my heart. She also mentored me through what was a challenging student teaching experience, and I often credit her with being the first person who made me see my potential as an educator. My whole life I had heard that I would make a good teacher, but it wasn't until Dr. Meixner uttered those words that I took it to heart. When you're a teacher you meet so many people to admire in your profession, but there are few people whom I admire professionally as much as I admire her; when someone whom you respect to the degree I respect her extends their faith in you, you take it to heart.

Much of my pedagogy stems from the essential beliefs I formed in Dr. Meixner's classes. She is engaging and dynamic, progressive and wickedly smart. As a preservice teaching student I gained invaluable knowledge from her, and thousands of adolescents, the students of her students, mine included, benefit from her masterful teaching. I often miss my college classes, and if I could take courses again, many of the ones I would want to repeat are Dr. Meixner's.

Luckily in the age of Facebook and email, I am still in touch with Dr. Meixner. She continues to support me professionally, and I am so thankful for all she's ever done for me. Years into my teaching career I strive to make Meixner proud...even if she has no idea what I am doing. In my opinion, when a teacher has that kind of lasting impact on you, when she continues to sculpt you years after she taught you, that's the definition of teacher appreciation.

#160: Mrs. Bonnano

In honor of teacher appreciation week it seems only fitting that I would express my gratitude for my former teachers, the ones who had the most impact on my life.

Mrs. Bonnano was my first grade teacher; 20 years later, I still find myself thinking of her and all that she did for me. I had major school anxiety, which stemmed mostly from the separation anxiety I felt being apart from my mother and the intimidation I felt by a child who was bullying me. It's no exaggeration to say I cried every morning I arrived at school, and often in the afternoon when I came back to school. My mother picked me up from lunch because I couldn't handle the entire day away from her (and I think I was also avoiding recess and my tormentor). Mrs. Bonnano never lost patience with me. She simply hugged me every day, let me know that I'd have a good day and that inevitably the bell would ring and I would get to go home. I became so attached to her, felt so secure in her classroom, that I never left it. Even though I was supposed to go to other classes for reading and math, I just stayed in Mrs. Bonnano's classroom. She had the lowest levels of both, so she even took the time to work with me independently at my level. I know personally how challenging it is to work with emotionally insecure students, and how daunting and time consuming differentiation (especially that for the sake of just one student) can be. A teacher now, I marvel at her dedication to her teaching and to me.

Like is true with any teacher, I learned so much more from Mrs. Bonnano than the content she taught me. I learned about compassion and care; that one can find love in the arms of people besides family; that no matter how tough your day is, you always get to go home. As the year went on I became more and more comfortable at school, entirely because of Mrs. Bonnano. I aspire, every day, to make my students feel as safe as she made me, because she's the teacher who taught me school-- when you're in the right classroom, with the right teacher--  can become a second home.

#159: Race Spectator Signs

My favorite spectator signs from today's half marathon, which I hope to internalize for future days running:

"Puke and Rally!"
"Your feet hurt because you're kicking serious ass."
"You've trained longer than Kim Kardashian was married."

#129: Born to Run

In light of the passing of Micah True I decided to reread Born to Run. Author Christopher McDougall's previous work had a common theme: endurance. As a war correspondent and sports journalist, McDougall witnessed men and women in the throes of feats of greatness, and yet had a nagging Achilles' heel (pun intended) of his own perpetually on his mind: why did his foot hurt?

McDougall proclaimed himself "unbreakable" throughout his career: paricipating in the semi-extreme sports he was covering, surviving in three war zones and a stint in the African badlands. And yet training for a marathon left him beaten and broken. It didn't add up-- and McDougall began investigating the secrets to ultramarathoners who could run insane distances without injury. This investigation leads him to the Tarahumaras-- the Running People-- a tribe of Mexican Indians who run far, fast and injury-free, and Micah True, more intimately known as Caballo Blanco, the American ultrarunner who followed them into the Copper Canyons to run and live amongst them.  McDougall's work reads as fiction, introducing these seemingly larger-than-life athletes, and weaving the science and philosophy of running within a narrative. It's a story of trial and triumph, pursuit and passion, running and redemption.

I am so thankful for this book. It glorifies running, and reiterates how lucky I am to be a part of this sport. It's inspired me with its message, about both running and life at large. The best books are the ones that make us look within ourselves for univeral truths, reminds us of our values, motivate and change us at our core-- and Born to Run does just that. I recommend it to anyone and everyone-- runner or not-- as a testament of what it is we are capable, and what it is we are living for.

#123: Micah True

My colleague, Adam, popped in my classroom today to inform me of some troubling news. Micah True, an ultrarunner made famous in Born to Run, is missing. He went out for a 12 mile run Tuesday morning in New Mexico, and hasn't been seen since.

I felt immediate shock and concern, and have spent a lot of my prep period at work reading articles regarding the situation. One was from a website in the New Mexico area, and it listed 'Things You Can Do To Help.' A number of those were targeted at people looking to join the search and rescue operations, but the last tip resonated with me: "If you can spare a minute of your time for a prayer, a positive thought or for visualizing his safe return, please do it. Our friend needs all the support he can get right now."

I am thankful for Micah True. He is an inspiring man, one whose story I was captivated by when I read Born to Run. I am praying for him and his safe return, and hope that I can soon update this post with my thankfulness for that.

UPDATE: I am saddened to write that the body of Micah True was located on Saturday. Christopher McDougall, the author of Born to Run, posted on twitter that "Caballo had the only funeral he would have wanted: his friends spent days running in the wilderness in his honor." I, too, will run this week in his honor, and will aim to run and live as light as the white horse.

#122: Running Reminders

My training for my upcoming half has been inconsistent. Once my first two weeks were interrupted by bronchitis, I never gained traction. I've more or less let go of my goal to break two hours...I'm slightly disappointed, but I also know that I want to be a runner for the rest of my life. There will be plenty of possibilities to PR. Sometimes you have to just accept it's not your day, and for a runner, it's important to reconcile yourself with that reality.

Despite my newly adopted easy-going mentality for this half, I have struggled occasionally with just getting out the door. My energy is often low, I struggle with finding the time to get a run in amidst my social life, work and home responsibilities, and some days I just can't find the motivation to get out the door.

Yesterday was one of those days. Relying on a standard quick-fix, I decided to run somewhere out of the ordinary for novelty's sake. I hopped in my car and headed to a local lake, where I could run laps, zone out,  and simply get the miles logged.

Often when I run I think about running. It can be a very meta-experience in that sense. This run-- which I had to battle myself simply to start-- made me think very much about why it is that I run.

On the same property as the lake I was looping sits a school for children and young adults with disabilities. Every time I passed it I drew strength from my proximity to what I imagine is a wonderful place. Knowing an unmotivated three mile run pales in comparison to the challenges the students attending that school face everyday put the whole run in perspective. And then, to add to this recognition, I noticed my company at the lake included a number of people who can't run. A woman pushed her adult son in a wheelchair. A man with a prosthetic leg was walking around the lake for as long as I was running-- and he continued even after I had stopped.

While I sat lakeside and stretched afterwards, I thought of a running quote that has always motivated me: "I run because I can. When I get tired, I remember those who can't run, what they would give to have this simple gift I take for granted, and I run harder for them. I know they would do the same for me."

I'm thankful that I can run, and for the reminders that I shouldn't ever take that for granted.